I hope we all get a chuckle on this one. Seriously I am trying not to bust up with writing this as I am in the middle of the public eye and blogging. This week I had to go for a colonoscopy. For myself it is routine check up kinda deal because my father had colon cancer and I personally have plenty of stomach issues. So to be safe, we do colonoscopies every 5 years to continue to check that I am clear. Here are my funnies from this time though!
It started Tuesday with the clean out. Oh my word is this ever in the running for the worst part during this procedure. It competes with coming out of the procedure. But this time it was better than my first time so I was highly thankful that I did not struggle as much. This round they needed you to drink the prep by a certain time (or at least the instructions said they did) the night before and I was highly struggling on the prep work. I managed to get everything down but it was about 5 hours after their original time line. Now thankfully my husband called in to make sure that was ok before I took my time. Once I got the all clear that I could take the entire night to drink the prep, then I was completely clear with doing this all! I just needed to know it wasn’t timed for a reason. Any who, I got through that and managed to wake up the next morning feeling good and ready to go!
The funny times started when I was called back to the room and got myself changed, checked in and started getting hooked up to all of the machines. My doctor was running late as he was in the hospital across the street performing a surgery. To which, hey, no problem. I was distracted so the hunger pains weren’t trying to annoy me! We ended up chat away with the lady that was going to keep me sedated. First off I asked for Phenergan for my nausea and she agreed to give that to me through the IV! Heck yes! I needed to not be sick when waking up. We ended up chatting with her and I warned her, that if she gave me the phenergan, I won’t be able to answer any questions after. Once that is in my system I do not understand anything I am saying! I said one time I was given Phenergan and then the nurse, I believe, asked me my name. All I remember is that I randomly said my name and then went back to sleep. She starts to bust up laughing and says “Ive got a story too!” She proceeds to say that her name is Catherine and when she was coming out of a procedure they kept saying her name to wake her up. She got annoyed with it and finally said to them “My name is Cathy!” I started to bust up. A little bit later the doctor came in and said he was ready for me to receive the phenergan and then he would be in to start the colonoscopy. Cathy starts giving me the phenergan in my IV and instantly I said to her “Im just telling you now, my name is Amanda Shenk.” She starts busting up and then goes “and Im Cathy!” Two minutes later I turned to her and said “things are starting to go now, Im going to nap now” and she said “ok, good night!” I fell asleep chuckling!
Waking up took a little longer than they were hoping just for the whole fact of using phenergan. It knocks me out and that’s typical but it was the safest bet to keeping myself healthy. Once I was awake they gave me the news that everything was clear and I do not have anything to be concerned about! Thank the Lord! I won’t have to go back for another 5 years and I can’t complain about that!
Now the whole recovery is when it get a little bit dicy. I remember being rolled out of the building and getting in the car. At some point my husband asked if we wanted to grab McDonalds and apparently I said yes. I don’t remember that! But we went and I remember saying “I want a cheeseburger or a chicken sandwich” and then saw the menu and said “I want a number 7.” My poor husband was so confused because I never order cheeseburgers but he ordered it to keep me happy. We pull around to the payment window and we watch as a car accident went on. It was a simple fender bender. But apparently I watched the entire thing and I only remember bits and pieces of it. Next thing I remember is being home and telling our friends that I was going to go lay down. I go into bed and I remember starring at my husband like “where is my food?!?!” And then I was eating. Haha. Next thing I know I fell asleep for a solid 3 hours and then woke up hungry yet again. My husband has been giving me little information randomly and placing everything so I can remember but y’all I was in rare form. I mean it makes sense but for myself it was funny to hear about later. I do also remember starting laundry and telling my husband about it a solid hour later and said “you may want to put that in the dryer.”
It was hilarious! 10 out of 10 I don’t recommend having to deal with colonoscopies but like do go for your regular check up! Just enjoy the process of coming out of it! I hope you all got some chuckles from my funny moments!