A more personal note

This week our blog post will be different than what I normally post. But hey that’s the fun of blogging. You get to see a behind the scenes part of me that is not always shown on social media. I do post a decent chunk but I know I don’t genuinely always show myself and my family and that’s the goal for this blog. Hence this blog post going to be a tad different than my normal. So strap in and let’s get real! 

 

It has been weighing on my mind for a while to be a tad more vulnerable with you all because you all genuinely have been nothing but kind, patient, and loving on this business and myself even more this past year. I took the time to head over to YouTube onto our families page, here is the link if you would like to see it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svULIlOcQPY  , and explained about my journey with Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome. But I figured I would also take the time to write it out for you all too. 

 

Y’all have been such a big part of this journey this past year. I know very well that this chronic illness probably doesn’t come off as much of a struggle. It truly has a way to just look like I am lazy or want to use it as a way to get out of things. I have genuinely had so many people speak up thinking that I may be faking being sick and that’s honestly a standard occurrence. Not that it feels great to hear the comments but it is true. Cyclical Vomiting has a way of making me look like I just am a lazy person. Shoot sometimes even I myself struggle with that mentally. Like am I lazy or is this just another day struggling with chronic illness. Then I am sadly told that it was chronic illness flaring up again. 

 

This year has been one of the biggest struggles as I’ve had so many random small flare ups. I have spent more time being sick than I have in years past. (Lets be real pregnancy doesn’t count!) I have had days where I could function through and days where I was down for the count. There was lots of pain and some details I won’t explain. A lot of ups and downs that I had to push through and I can thankfully say that I made it through a lot on that front. 

 

Recently I have been in a state of fatigue. It has lasted well over a month and each day the level of fatigue varies. One day I can wake up and just feel like I didn’t get a good night sleep, the next I feel like I can barely move a muscle. There’s even days where I feel so rested, like I legit got a solid nights sleep, then as the day moves on I end up feeling like I haven’t slept a wink in weeks. (This is where the look of lazy comes in sometimes) But I am also struggling with the ability to eat. I continue to not feel hungry except for towards dinner time. Its a strange side effect but its a fine line to walk. Sometimes if you don’t eat you can end up being sick but if you eat you can also end up sick. Such a fun little gamble to play for each day. Now I will say that I do take the time to actually pick items that will help my body too. For example, I pick homemade juices instead of coffee or soda. I do have some coffee but instead of a second cup I go for something that will help nourish the body more. Essentially small little steps to ensure that my body is at least getting some sort of nutrients while being sick. That is a vital thing to do while in a full blown episode and even on the small struggle days. 

 

 

It is a daily fight and a daily struggle but this is where I also want to get a little personal with you all. I have had so many people step up and be nothing but supportive. It has been such a beautiful thing to see people show up with different comments, messages and calls to check in and make sure I am doing alright. There are so many of you that have been doing nothing but showing love and support during this entire time. I could be at one of my medical lowest points and y’all took the time to say such kind words. I can’t even thank you all enough on this. I continue to feel so thankful for all of the love and support you continue to provide. It genuinely makes this business an even bigger joy for myself because I know that there are so many people that support this business even during the struggles. 

My goal is that for the next year that I can work on getting my chronic illness under control a little bit more. I continue to strive for that daily but I know it won’t be a simple over night fix. It’s going to take time with every part of my life. I have such huge dreams for this company that I refuse to let my health continue to set me back. This candle business has been my dream for years and we have been so fortunate to be going 7 years, almost 8, strong and I continue to pray that I can keep going.

 

Back to blog